Everything Rides On Faith ..

Let's start by stating a known fact; it's 2012.
Day 1 of the new year. It's either a special day, or just another day in this journey of life. Most would probably be sleeping in on this day, largely due to over-the-top partaayyy-ing~ on New Year's Eve 2011. There's also those who didn't go to the extreme, and has plans today. Others could be going about their stuffs like nothing has changed. (in which, other than a number, what has actually changed?)

I probably fall in the last group. The way I felt that nothing changed on my birthday in Nov 2011, is how I feel about today. I slept in even though I didn't do any partying of any sort. Found time today to doing nothing but play my online mmorpg Dragon Nest SEA, which I have been neglecting waaaaay.. too much. But then, I stopped cause I had to start thinking about a smoke bomb J threw. Lunch with his relatives doesn't sound bad at all. But given my current state.. It's a really bad plan. I can only hope that tomorrow, I'll keep smiling. Dinner though was a smoke bomb he received. And after hearing his initial plans, I feel a little sad. Yet it can go in ways more than one. After everything, just send me home..
cause of my ttotm and I'll get home faster to do my own things / rest?
cause I feel awkward having dinner with his family?
cause he is just that.. plain? (don't know what word to use to describe.. ._.")

I don't know. I guess I should just think the nicer thought right? Now throw in the dinner and I'm on my own. I'm no longer a kid, so why do I need someone with me where ever I go? I'm definitely depending on him too much. CONFIRM. I wonder, why is it that he can be so dependable.. yet so undependable at the same time. Maybe he's those "husband material, cannot be boyfriend material" type. Maybe it's cause this is new to him, so he doesn't know quite how to act / think. Maybe he did think about it, but didn't have the chance to let me know / forgot. It IS only human to err. He's not perfect & neither am I. Yet.. .. .. .. :(

Sigh.. maybe. maybe. maybe. At the end of the day, I still don't know. And I'm still where I am.
Do I somehow have faith that it'll work out in the end?



.. Somehow